meat is mean

I am a vegetarian as of this week. I can no longer stand the thought of eating the flesh of a once-living creature. I’m not 100% sure yet if I will cut fish out of my diet but as much as I am able to do so, I will choose to not consume any animal product. I am, however, still putting cream in my coffee and eating cheese. So the dairy might be more gradual of a removal from my diet. I’m not sure either if I will still eat eggs or not… I had vanilla almond milk with my cereal last night for the first time. It was actually pretty good. I came across 2 books on the weekend that both described in gory/graphic detail the slaying of animals by humans to provide us with the meat that we eat. I was traumatized by the sheer cruelty: cows being skinned alive and pigs being electrocuted while screeching in pain. It made me feel sick to my stomach. I got really emotional and then decided to do an internet search to find out where our meat comes from. The footage I found of how they kill the animals were so traumatizing I was worried about passing out (http://www.meat.org/). I couldn’t even watch because of the horrific violence. So this is day 4 and so far so good.
I love animals! I just don't love eating them anymore...

be cool, grasshopper...

I'm still smiling.

chain story

(This is for you - you know who you are...)


he flew to the moon, but no one cared.
he thought it might impress her,
but she looked away as he crashed back down to earth.
"ok, so what is the damn deal?!" he exclaimed with a fire upon his voice.
she shrugged, "don't take it personally, but I prefer the sun to the moon."
of curtains pink and white, she was the best dressed, and dressed to block out the sun she was...
however, the sun had stopped shinning and, in 8 minutes it was bound to be dark, the two left to fend off the darkness.
"to continue to be" was the motto and they could not be more ambitious to meet again.
the sun swallowed them up.

the end.

Pink Floyd

I remember that pale boy in grade 7 that I had a crush on.

The long blond hair, green eyes and quiet Kurt Cobain mystique were his trademarks; what I remember about him most.

I thought of him on Tuesday while driving home past midnight.

Pink Floyd playing on the radio, it made me think of Lee who used to wear this black Pink Floyd shirt all the time.

I wrote him a letter once.

An anonymous one.

He wasn’t supposed to read it but somehow it ended up in his hands.

I never did talk to him.

Ever.

I was a shy girl.

I still am to this day.

Hearing that song playing on the radio momentarily brought back all that 7th grade anxiety and insecurity.

It brought back the embarrassment of having him read my letter and the wonder at never knowing what ever happened to him once we left elementary school and what he might be up to now?

fail me not

The air is frigid and the air that fills my lungs is pure.
Oh how I long to be where there is no sound of rushing cars – no sirens, no alarms.
I long for the tranquility of the ocean.
Its mysterious dark blue depths call to me, offering me a safe haven.
I long for the mountains majestic rising like offerings to the heavens.
The vastness of the sky stretches on eternally and I feel small and insignificant in comparison.

The wind greedily blows, lapping at my face and hair, hungrily, and then all is still.
I hear and see ice caving off the cliffs of the glacier up ahead, thunderous.

It's as though I was born for this moment.

raw pieces

I breathe in. I feel alive. The sun is brilliant in the sky. The snow crunches beneath my feet as I walk toward no destination in particular. I just needed to get away. Far from the confinement of my grey-walled cage where the air is poor and work slow this day.

Crunch crunch. The sounds of eating raw vegetables. Raw.

Waves of apathy wash over me as I rinse soapy plates in the sink.

In the background, the faint sounds of ice dancing music and I try to watch some of the couples as I continue my mundane task. It is late and I’m tired.

I try to do the right thing but it would seem I always come up a tad short. Like I’ve almost completed a puzzle and I take a step back to admire my work, and about 20 pieces are missing. The picture isn’t complete and I can’t figure out where those pieces went missing. Did I throw them out by accident? Perhaps, they got mixed up in another puzzle box. It frustrates me and no matter how hard I try, with every puzzle, there are always missing pieces. Is this resulting from lack of wisdom? Did I do it on purpose without even noticing? I don’t get it.

Crunch crunch. I’m already sick of celery but I’m also sick of having to buy new jeans.

I work better in the morning. Or how about not at all?