I've been re-reading some of my old diary entries. It's great. So much has changed over the last year or so and yet I still recognize myself in my writings and it's as though I'm getting to know an old friend once again. When did things become so different? When did the change occur? I'm re-learning what it is to be honest. To allow people to get to know me. To allow myself to be myself without having to pretend I'm perfect. To allow myself to become more myself. To discover who I am and grow into that person that I am slowly becoming. It's kind of neat. And rereading those diary entries makes me realize that who I'm striving to become is very similar to the person I used to be. I used to have such faith. I used to be more sure of everything. Maybe it's because I knew less then than what I do now. Ignorance is bliss, is it not? I find the more I learn, the more I realize that I know nothing at all.
Mike bought me a cd for my birthday. It's a beautiful album. I listened to it while driving to work this afternoon. It's by a band called Mae and the lead singer's vocals are so pristine. I love it. The album is mixed to perfection. It's gorgeous to listen to. I tried to come up with a band to compare it to... but was alas unable to. It's sort of pop-ish meets melodic; ballads that are aesthetically pleasing and yet thoughtful and fresh. I haven't added to my cd collection in a long time so the gift was much appreciated. We did end up going back to that site with all the free furniture the day after we first went. Sadly though, the garbage men were throwing all that prime stuff into the back of a green machine monster of a truck to bring to the dumpster. Plus, the owner of the land wouldn't let me peruse the area because he was busy with the demolition derby out front. Too bad... we'll just have to go back when he's not around.
Besides, I brought my camera and yet no film... Go figure. That is such a me thing to do. I only discovered that post facto when I went to the car graveyard the day after to take pictures of the cav after the great accident. Man, the images of all those cars - yea, our car totaled and wrecked - are still so strongly in my head. It's truly disturbing. It makes me shudder now to hear sirens. Or see the remains of accident sites on the road when I'm waiting for the bus. Sheer craziness. Now I need only to buy a car...
This morning, my amp was being difficult for the begining part of the first service I played. grr to amps and technical difficulties. The second service was much better, overall. The preaching was also much better the second time around. I'm glad I stayed for both (usually I only go to the one morning service at church). The last one was very good. It was a great evening at work too. Not too much drama. My patients were all very kind and the co-workers were fun. I love my job. woo. Indeed, it's been a good day.
Anyway, I've rambled enough for one night.
peace.
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